


Koi Fish

by orphan_account



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Magic, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Diana Needs A Hug, Diana calls herself an idiot a lot, Diana talks to herself, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, a little bit angsty but they get better, akko wants to give hugs, happy ending I promise, lots of gay awkwardness, tags will change as the story goes on, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Akko's soulmate is a troubled girl, she found that out when she started to understand the world a bit more. That's why she made a habit of singing to her every night, and hoping that she's making her soulmate feel better even in the slightest.Diana doesn't know what she did to deserve her soulmate.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Comments: 102
Kudos: 346





	1. 1. Little songs

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this story will contain heavy topics like abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, and depression so if you are sensitive to that please find another story.

Soulmates, everybody had one. The person you were  _ meant _ to be connected to would feel the same things as you, have the same scars as you, have the same soul mark as you, the same pain as you. Some even could share snippets of their thoughts! (but only if they wanted to). Yet many people ended up just simply never finding theirs.

Due to the way the universe works, and how many people there are in the world, it wasn’t all that likely that you would find your soulmate. People would still travel the world to no avail. It didn’t help that people generally covered their soulmarks as well, making it all the harder to find your soulmate. 

And even though it was so very hard to find your soulmate in this world, Akko’s parents still managed to find each other! And bring her into the world! A beautiful baby with a beautiful koi fish soul mark! A model soulmate relationship, what everybody wanted to be basically. 

The bruises and pain started popping up when she was six years old. Yeah she had an occasional scrape, or small bruise on the knee, but nothing like this. At first, her and her parents thought it was a one time thing, maybe her soulmate fell down a hill, or off a tree, nothing serious.

After the third time, her parents suspected what was happening to her other half. Akko, blissfully unaware of what her parents suspected, got to enjoy frequent treats because of the injuries she sustained courtesy of her other half on a daily basis. Anything to make up for the pain. 

At the age of seven, Akko started taking pain medication. It was getting too bad, she would get whip lashes at 3am across her back, waking her up from her dreams almost every night. She would still get the bruises, she would still get the marks, but she didn’t have to deal with the pain of it all. 

After the whip lash incident, Akko got the biggest gift of them all, tickets to a Shiny Chariot concert! Her first of many, in fact. That concert is what inspired Akko to be a musician! Just like her idol.

At the age of ten, Akko started developing weird cuts on her arms and legs, which required a lot more care than her bruises. Akko hoped her soulmate could feel the hugs she got from her parents to dull the pain of whatever she was going through at home. She didn’t know that your soulmate couldn’t feel things like that yet. It didn’t stop her from giving herself a hug at night whenever a new bruise or cut would appear on her body. 

Akko asked her parents what was happening to her soulmate, that never happened to her when she fell off of a tree or off of a bike like how they explained her bruises. They told Akko that her soulmate was having a rough time, and maybe if she concentrated hard enough she could send some encouraging messages over to her and give her some strength so she could get through this hard time. 

Akko paired the encouraging words with her nightly hug, not knowing that her soulmate couldn’t understand a word of Japanese. Those words of encouragement evolved into songs of encouragement. 

At the age of 12, Akko’s doctor recommended temporary soulmate blockers. Of which Akko’s parents refused. She didn’t need them, she was fine with the pain meds. Her soulmate needed every drop of support she could give and if she had soulmate blockers her soulmate wouldn’t receive her hugs or encouraging words and songs every night. The thought of even being disconnected from them for a second made her heart hurt.

At the age of 14, Akko’s favorite singer Shiny chariot stopped singing and seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth. Akko hoped that her soulmate would send her words of support but they never came. Akko still sang to her soulmate.

At the age of 16, Akko’s bruises had died down, the cuts hadn’t, but it was progress nonetheless! Also at the age of 16, Akko had honed into her singing skills enough to get accepted into her dream performing arts school! The school that Chariot attended, Luna Nova Academy! 

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


At the age of 6, Diana’s mother had died. Placing her into the custody of her aunt, who happened to hate her. That’s when the beatings began. She already didn’t believe that she would ever find a soulmate, but she really hoped her soulmate didn’t hate her as much as her aunt after the beatings started happening more frequently.

At the age of 7, Diana’s aunt showed her what a whip could do. It wasn’t as often as a normal beating, but it was enough to make her scared of anything close to a whip crack.

At the age of 10, Diana started hurting herself. It was the only control of her life she had. The beatings were getting worse, it felt unbearable.

The night she made her first cuts, she could swear she could hear her soulmate speaking to her in some foreign language. She couldn’t understand a word she said nor did she know what language it was, but she just hoped she wasn’t scolding her.

Not long after her soulmate started talking to her, the singing began. She liked that more than the talking. She thought her soulmate's voice was quite calming.

At the age of 12, the beatings started to get worse. The whip was being implemented more, everything hurt more. The longer it went on the more it felt like she couldn’t escape. But at least she had her soulmates songs to keep her going. 

At the age of 14, Diana gained some new friends. They had no idea what was going on with her aunt or anything yes, but it was nice to have somebody who cared about you who didn’t potentially live on the other side of the world. 

She also got a particularly emotional performance from her soulmate. 

At the age of 16, the beatings had lowered, for the most part. Her aunt had probably just gotten tired of punishing her so much. She still punished herself though.

At the age of 16, Diana’s two friends had found out what she had been doing to herself. They made sure that she knew that they cared.

At the age of 16, Diana’s family enrolled her in Luna Nova Academy, a performing arts school that she was supposed to attend for the rest of her school days. She wasn’t opposed to it, it was the same school her late mother went to. Her aunt had made her play piano from a young age, after her mom died. It was safe to say she was good at it. Plus, being in public school gave her a chance to get away from her aunt, as opposed to homeschooling where she had no chances to escape.

Not good enough, but still good.

A few days after her aunt enrolled her, her soulmate performed a seemingly happy song to her. She couldn’t really tell the lyrics, the only languages she spoke were English and Scottish Gaelic and it certainly wasn’t in those languages. 

She was sure that at this new school her aunt would make her hide her koi fish soul mark, her aunt wouldn’t want any chances of Diana finding her soulmate and being happy. It wasn’t like she was ever going to find them anyways, it was a miracle that her soulmate still gave her mini performances close to every night. 


	2. 2.  Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why were her eyes so blue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW if you're sensitive to abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts/ideation, and depression
> 
> Also yes I headcanon Diana as liking unicorns yes this will be brought up later
> 
> also when akkos dialogue is in italics that means shes speaking Japanese

Diana was in a rush. Aunt Daryl had neglected to inform her that this new school had dormitories, that she would be staying at, leaving her to pack all of her things at the last minute. It’s not like she had much anyways. Her aunt was never the type to just give things to her out of the blue, she would either have to earn it through practicing piano until it was good enough for her aunt's standards, if she did not meet those standards fast enough it would result in one item being taken away and a more severe punishment. Or alternatively, she could ask one of her nicer cousins for it and they’d suck up to her aunt and get her what she wanted or needed. The 2nd option was the rarer of the two.

  


Diana had met her friend, Hannah, when her aunt offered Diana to tutor her, since she was behind in school. She helped her with her homework, and eventually they started talking more, and more, and more, until this talking blossomed into friendship. And then Hannah introduced her to Barbara, they quickly became inseparable. It was truly a miracle that Diana’s aunt hadn’t tried to pull them apart yet. If she had, she didn’t know where she would be right now, most likely with her mother.

  


She thought about that a lot.

  


Diana’s phone dinged from across the room, she set down the unicorn plushie she was contemplating taking with her on the table. ( _ it wasn’t that embarrassing, was it?) _

  


**Barb:** Han and I are outside whenever you’re ready btw. No rush, it’s okay being a little late sometimes, no biggie :)

  


**Di:** I only have a few things left as of right now. How long do you suppose it’ll take to get to the dormitories?

-Diana 

  


**Barb:** 30 min drive, also you don’t have to sign your name at the end of texts, we know it’s you lol

  


**Di:** Noted, I like texting like this though, so I will continue to do so if it does not bother you a substantial amount.

-Diana 

  


**Barb:** whatever makes you happy babe :)

  


Diana looked over to the table where her unicorn plushie was, contemplated, and ended up stuffing it in her suitcase. It was a gift from Hannah, she got it for her at a fair that Diana couldn’t attend because her aunt made her study, so they got her the plushie. It’s been her comfort item ever since.

  


**Di:** I am ready, I will be outside shortly.

-Diana

  


Diana picked up the first out of two boxes and made her way out of her room, where she bumped into her maid, Anna, in the halls.

  


“Do you need any assistance, Miss Cavendish?” Anna asked kindly.

  


Anna was the only adult to treat her as if she was a human in this household.

  


“I’m quite alright, I only have a box and a suitcase after this, I can handle it, thank you.”

“Well, make sure to ask me for help if you need any, Miss Cavendish.”

  


“I’ll make sure.”

  


Diana made her way outside of the mansion and on over to her friend’s car, somehow not catching the attention of her aunt.

  


“Hey!” Hannah called out to her. “Do you need any help?”

  


Diana replied with a simple “No, I’m fine really.”

  


“Really?”

  


“Yes, really. Just stay in the car please, I don’t think my aunt wants to see you two.” Diana replied 

  


“As per usual” Barbara said from the passengers seat.

  


Hannah and Barbara were soulmates. Hannah and Barbara were soulmates and that’s why Diana’s aunt didn’t want to see them. 

  


They found out last year when Hannah walked in on Barbara changing, they had the exact same yellow magnolia on their chest area. Shortly after that they started dating, and Aunt Daryl didn’t take too kindly to Diana having homosexuals as friends, It was the hardest beating Diana had gotten in years. But for some unknown reason aunt Daryl still allowed her to be friends with them. 

  


The thing is, if their soulmarks were in a different place, such as their arm, then they would have known way sooner. Except the universe had to make it hard on them and have them take off their shirts to find out. Or alternatively punch themselves or had them realize that having the same scar on their eyebrow wasn’t a ‘best friend’ thing.

  


The opposite could be said if they lived in a different country. England was one of the countries where showing your soul mark was encouraged. Seeing people just walking around with their soul mark uncovered was very common in England. However in other countries, say Japan or Finland, it was taboo to show your soul mark in public. People often wear bandages on their soul marks in those types of countries no matter the placement. The only time it was semi acceptable to show your soul mark in public in those countries was when you were actively looking for your soulmate, but that’s it.

  


Her aunt made her cover up her soulmark with bandages or a long sleeve anyways. She said it was to hide her ‘ugly scars’, but all of the scars near her soul mark were faded. She knew the real reason, she wasn’t a fool.

  


“It’s not like I want to go inside anyways.” Hannah said “It’s like a snake enclosure in there, and I don’t want to see your crass aunt either. No offence.”

  


“None taken.”

  


Diana made her way inside to retrieve the rest of her belongings. She passed by her aunt again, still not catching her attention surprisingly.

  


Maybe it would be a good idea to just take the suitcase and the remaining box out in one go. What could go wrong?

  


Well it had gone right for the most part, until she made it to the kitchen where this time, she did  _ not  _ get ignored by her aunt.

  


“Stop.”

  


The voice was enough to make her drop both her box and her suitcase

  


“Being able to live in the dorms of that school is a privilege, understood?” 

  


She didn’t answer, she was still stuck in place, stunned.

  


Her aunt slammed her fist on the table, scaring her even more.

  


“Y-yes I un-understand.” Diana stuttered out 

  


“I have made a ruleset for you.” She stood up from her seat at the table and made her way closer to her niece. “If you are not to follow them, you are to receive a punishment, understood?”

  


“Understood.” She struggled to not stutter on that one.

  


“Number one, if your grades drop, that is a medium punishment.”

  


Grades dropping wasn’t an issue of hers, she was sure she was already far ahead of her grade level’s curriculum,

  


“Number two, you are to call me at least two times every week. If you fail to do so you will also receive a medium punishment.”

  


That one was manageable, it didn’t make her any less terrified, though. 

  


“Number three, since I am allowing you to live with your…” She took a pause “friends, which is a privilege in of itself, if you turn out to be anything like them, you will receive a severe punishment, understood?”

  


Severe punishments meant the whip.

  


That rule was not very doable, her soulmate could be female, it’s most likely that they’re female because their voice is very feminine. They could be a transgender male but it’s not like that would be any better in her aunt’s eyes. 

  


But she really had no chance but to say what she wanted to hear. 

  


“Understood.”

  


Her aunt went back to her seat and took a sip from her mug. “You are permitted to leave.”

  


Diana picked up her box and suitcase again, still visibly shaking from the encounter. 

  


She couldn’t be more excited to leave.

  


She made her way to the care and loaded the rest of her belongings in before getting into the back seat.

  


“Are you okay? You’re shaking.” Hannah asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

  


“Yeah I just…”

  


_ Think of an excuse _ .

  


“...ran into a snake on my way out. I’ll be fine.”

  


“Damn, you can never get used to those bastards.” Hannah joked

  


“...”

  


“...”

  


“Okay then let’s turn some music on, shall we?” Barbara reached for the car’s stereo. 

  


The first song that came on was… familiar? Weird, she didn’t listen to pop, the song was  _ french _ pop too, all the stranger…

  


“Ugh, her again?” Hannah scoffed “They should just give up on  _ Chariot _ after that scandal.” She quickly switched the station. 

  


“Chariot?” Diana asked, she’d heard the name before, but the thing is, she wasn’t sure  _ where _

  


“Yeah, she was a pop singer but two years ago she vanished without a trace. Later rumors spread about her having a ghostwriter, I chose to believe them.” Hannah answered from the driver's seat

  


_ Chariot? _

  


_ Two years ago? _

  


“Wait.”

  


Hannah looked at her through the mirror “What?”

  


“Don’t freak out or anything, but I think my soulmate has been singing to me in broken french for six years." 

Barbara whipped her head around the passengers seat and looked at Diana with a shocked expression

  


“YOUR SOULMATE SINGS TO YOU AND YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL US?”

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


Akko was a liiiittle bit late to say, but that couldn’t stop her! Neither was only having taken English classes for two months before coming to England but hey, immersion helps when learning languages? Right?

  


Language isn’t the thing she should be focusing on right now, all she needed to do was put the rest of her things (which there were a lot of) in her dorm, and attend initiation, can’t be that hard. 

  


Things didn’t go wrong  _ all  _ the time for her, she could have one (1) exception-

  


She grunted as her body hit another, sending both of them back and causing her to drop her last bag

  


“Watch it!” an angry voice said from above her “Do you have any common decency to not push people to the ground?”

  


She scrambled to get off of the ground “Oh!  _ I’m sorry! _ It was an accident,  _ are you okay?” _ She mixed both of her languages together in one probably confusing sentence for the girls she bumped into. 

  


She drifted her eyes up to see them, she was met with;

One mad redhead.

  


One black haired girl trying to calm down said mad redhead.

  


And one (beautiful) blonde and teal haired girl still sitting on the ground, the one she pushed.

  


_ Is that her natural hair color? _

  


_ Why are her eyes so blue? _

  


_ Oh god she’s looking at you she’s looking at you right in the eyes you’re staring at her eye’s stop staring at her eyes- _

  


“Excuse me? What did you say?” the redhead asked 

  


“Sorry! I’ve only been taking English lessons for  _ two _ months,” She held up the finger sign for two to the three girls, realizing that they most definitely did not understand Japanese. “And I sort of slip in and out of Japanese and English haha… forgive me?”

  


“The (pretty) blonde got back up on her feet “I forgive you.”

  


“Huh?” The redhead said 

  


“I said I forgive her, it was an accident.” She dusted herself off “Your English is good, by the way.”

  


The blonde’s supposed black haired friend whispered something in her ear.

  


“I suppose we should be leaving now,” she held out her hand “Diana Cavendish, and you are?” 

  


“Atsuko Kagari, but my friends call me Akko!” She flashed her an awkward smile before shaking her hand.

  


“Pleasure to meet you, Atsuko Kagari.” she said before turning away

  


Well she didn’t really  _ say _ her name the right way, it was more like At-su-ko with a hard ‘t’ and Kagari with a rhotic r.

  


For some reason, she felt strangely attracted to the girl? Something that drew her in. She hadn’t even met the girl 5 minutes ago and she was already intrigued.

  


_ Wow it’s almost like there’s a universal thing where you have a destined person you’re supposed to fall in love with and you immediately feel drawn to them when you first meet. _

  


_ Seriously? You didn’t even meet her 5 minutes ago and you think she’s your soulmate? _

  


__ Akko sighed and picked up her fallen bag, did she seriously have to go to school with miss medium blonde and gorgeous? That’s a health hazard!

  


She continued her walk to where she was  _ supposed  _ to go, it wasn’t even that far she just happened to bump into a pretty girl on the way there. 

  


She opened the door to put the last remaining bag in her door and-

  


Oh her roommates were there.

  


One setting up some sort of chemistry set, and the other placing what seemed to be a harp in the corner of the small room. 

  


The 2nd redhead she’d met that day looked up at her and straightened her back.

  


“Ah!” she mumbled something in a language she did not recognize “Sorry! You startled me there… Lotte Jansson, you?”

  
  


  


  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi for all of y'all that managed to make it to the end. I'm still fairly new to writing but the only way to get better is through practice, you know? Also I somehow don't know how to write a stutter even though I have a stutter myself.
> 
> Also stigma by V is a really good Diana-ish song, lyric wise https://youtu.be/LmmV2b23DV0
> 
> There is snake hate in this chap but don't be fooled, I love snakes.
> 
> On another note, I have NOT abandoned my tokyo ghoul au fic, I'm almost done with the update it'll be here soon if i don't accidentally delete it again.


	3. 3. Boys will be bugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana struggles, Akko tries to switch things up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I have to say I'm not as pleased with this chapter as I am for others :/. I don't really know if I got the feelings of semi suicidalness down right despite being somebody who's suffered from suicidal thoughts before and still suffers and being somebody who used to self harm. It's kind of hard for me ig. But if you're struggling with any of these things PLEASE get help, it's really worth it no matter the time it takes to genuinely get better. Anyways I hope y'all like this chapter more than I do I also tried to pay more attention to the punctuation since I realized that's sort of a problem lmao.   
> also just a reminder that Akko's dialogue when in italics means she's speaking Japanese btw. 
> 
> TW//

Diana never thought she would see the day where she would zone out during something as important as this, but here she was.

Her voice was familiar, the girl she bumped into. 

And she just couldn’t get her out of her head.

It was strange, a girl she had met, no, not even  _ met _ , she knocked her  _ over _ and they didn’t even get the chance to properly talk with one another, was occupying her mind during a time like this. 

The girl who’s red eyes stuck in her mind more than anything else. 

( _ She wouldn’t approve of this type of thinking)  _

__ “Dianaaaaaaa…” Hannah (?) called out to get her attention. 

Diana snapped out of her dazed state and turned her head to her friend. “Huh?”

“You were zoned out like, the entire time, you seem off today, are you alright?” Hannah asked before standing up in her seat

“Why are you standing? Did I miss all of it?”

“Yeah but it wasn’t really all that important, it was more of a long speech than an initiation.” Hannah motioned for Diana to stand up.

“Well did I miss anything  _ Important? _ ” Diana asked with a slightly worried quiver in her voice.

“Well, no not really. Since you do the only non obvious important thing on the list already.”

_ Well that answers nothing  _

Diana opened her mouth to ask a question before getting cut off by Hannah “You don’t show your soul mark already, I mean.”

Oh.

Well that’s a stupid rule, the only reason she covered it was because her aunt made her, there was no reason to in this country.

“Yeah, they said that the foreign students here might feel uncomfortable and there is, to say, a lot” Barbara replied to Hannah. “Not really a problem for us though, cuz’ you cover yours and we have to take off our shirts to show ours so…”

She missed the  _ entire  _ initiation just because a girl happened to bump into her who happened to be cute who happened to have a familiar voice, and it’s barely even the first day.

_ What has gotten into me? _

__ “Oh and real classes start tomorrow.” Barbara added.

  
  


_ Aunt Daryl would punish me if she knew I was thinking these thoughts. _

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


It started out as a way to have control over her life, when the only thing that she  _ could _ control was her own pain. Her aunt (who caused the pain she couldn’t control) never really cared for it, other than calling them disgusting. The reason for her doing her ‘thing’ started a gradual change from mainly being about control to mainly being a ‘I did something and it wasn’t good in my eyes so I am going to punish myself and feel like shit about it and punish myself again because of that.’ sort of thing. Now? It was a mixture of everything, and she just couldn’t bring herself to stop. 

She knew it was unhealthy. She knew that it was causing Hannah and Barbara to be sad, she knew she was hurting her soulmate because of it, and she felt extremely bad about it. But feeling bad about it just made her want to do it more. That was the cycle. 

She wonders what she did to deserve her soulmate sometimes. She’s never talked to them once, she’s been hurting them since she was six (hurting them herself since she was 10), but somehow, they still sing to her. 

Not to mention that she never talks to them either. Or that her soulmate is stuck with a ton of scars that are just a reminder that the person that they’re tied to by soul is a fucked up person. 

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


“YOU do musical theater?”

“Yeah, what’s so surprising about it?” the pale girl-  _ sucy’s _ answer sounded more like a threat than an answer really. All Akko had asked was ‘why do you go here?’ and when the intimidating girl she shared a dorm with answered ‘musical theater’ and that she wanted to go to broadway it just made Akko very confused, understandably.

Lotte playing the harp was understandable, she looks like she came out of the womb with a harp.

Sucy looks like she could be a member of the female version of MCR. 

What do you MEAN ‘what’s so surprising about it’?! You don’t LOOK like the type of person to do it!” Akko shouted, her arm gestures getting more frantic as the conversation went on.

“Akko, there is no look to somebody who does musical theater.” Sucy said in her monotone voice before staring at Akko’s arm, for some reason.

“Yes there is! And it’s not you!” Akko shouted. 

“Akko.”

“Hm?”

Sucy pointed towards Akko’s arm “You’re bleeding, like through your sleeve.” 

Akko pulled down her sleeve and sure enough, 7 new ones. She couldn’t feel them anymore, since her pain meds were specifically for people in situations like hers it just numbed all the pain her soulmate felt out. 

It happened often, the bleeding.

She sometimes (code for all the time) wished that she could numb her soulmates pain mentally. Physically too, but since her soulmate was doing this to themself they were most definitely hurting. 

Maybe when they meet she can make it better for them in some way.

“ _ Oh that sure is blood. _ ” She wiped some of it off with her sleeve to make sure it didn’t drip onto the floor before she got the chance to clean it. Lotte was too engrossed with her novel and headphones to even notice what was going on.

_ Oh God that’s a lot of blood _

“Why are you calm?!” Sucy dropped her creepy-cool facade just to freak out over the blood. “Are you just going to stand there and bleed out? Clean it up?!” She looked like she was going to  _ puke _ .

“I’ll clean this up  _ right now” _ Akko said, slipping back into her native tongue on the last words. 

She made her way outside of her shared dorm with the first aid kit she packed with her and headed to the bathroom in the hallway, some of the richer students had fancier dorms with bathrooms inside of them but it’s not like she could afford that. Having to not share a bathroom with at least 20 other students sounded nice.

The proper way to clean a wound like this by herself became routine since the age of 10, rinse, dry, disinfect, dress, and redress the wounds every few days and hope her soulmate does the same. 

Maybe she would switch up her singing tonight, they might be getting tired of the same 72 Shiny Chariot songs. It’s not like Akko was getting tired of them any time soon though, those songs were like straight crack to her.

Maybe Cavetown? 

_ No I might make them cry _

Maybe IU?

_ I think I’ll just stick to cavetown _

__ Akko finished up her routine wound clean before making her way back to the dorm, hopefully Sucy hadn’t thrown up while she was gone. 

_ Seriously if that was her reaction to a few cuts then what would happen if she saw the whip lashes from not too long ago and the deep seemingly experimental thigh wound from last month. _

Nights like this made her think if she would ever actually get to meet her soulmate at all, she knew they were struggling, she knew they had an extremely hard life and Akko hoped she didn’t end it before they had the chance to make it better. 

__ Akko knew there was no ‘fixing’ them, she wasn’t the sharpest bulb in the box but she wasn’t naive. The cuts weren’t as deep as they were a few months ago or even last month, it wasn’t a lot but it was progress to stopping.

Akko closed the door behind her. 

“So I can explai-” She got cut off by Sucy, Lotte still dead focused on the book in her hands and her headphones.

“I fucking hate blood.”

_ Understandable. _

“Noted. But I didn’t do that to myself so there’s no need to  _ report _ me to the guidance counselor.” Akko said, adding one of those awkward white person no lips smiles at the end of her sentence. 

“No shit, I wouldn’t expect you to just materialize them out of nowhere.”

“So back to our conversation on musical theater…”

  
  
  


_ *_*_*_*_* _

  
  
  


__

  
  


__ Maybe her soulmate only kept singing to her every night because they didn’t want the person they were literally destined to be with to kill herself ( _ she thought about that maybe more than she should, dying.)  _ maybe they hated her because of the pain they caused her, even though she was their soulmate. It has happened to some people, they end up hating their soulmate or vice versa. Sometimes the universe fucks up and sets the wrong people together.

She just hoped that wasn’t the case for her. 

She awaited the next song from her musically inclined soulmate.

Maybe she should get her mind off things before it goes even deeper, and darker than before.

As if on cue, Hannah waltzed over to behind the bookshelf and on her bed “What’s up?” She greeted.

“Nothing, why?” Diana situated herself so she was closer to the girl.

“Well you look sad that’s why.”

_ Well she’s not entirely wrong. _

“Wanna talk about it?”

She’d never really let her emotions through words before to either of her friends, sure she cried a lot with the two when they found out about her problem. Other than that? She was like a locked box.

Who knows, maybe talking about it would get rid of the self-destructive, almost bordering on suicidal thoughts that were starting to float through and invade her mind, just for a little bit. 

They never really completely went away but it was nice to have some time without them, feel loved once in a while.

“Sure, talking never hurts anybody I guess.”

Hannah smiled and sat up criss cross on the bed, Diana followed suit. 

“So, how are you doing?” Hannah asked.

“Same as always.”

“Well is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

Truth is it wasn’t really either, being like, ‘this’, was all she had ever known after the age of 6. It was just normal to her. The thoughts, the mental and physical abuse from her aunt, everything. 

But she wasn’t going to dump all that on her friend and make her upset.

“It’s fine.” 

Hannah sighed, “I know you’re lying, but that probably means you really don’t want to talk about it right now so I’m not going to push it and make you uncomfortable.” Hannah said before laying back down on the bed “How about your soulmate, you said they sing to you?”

“Every night.” She answered.

“And it’s exclusively Shiny Chariot songs?” Hannah asked 

“From what I know, yes.” Upon learning that her soulmate was singing in broken french, it was actually kind of cute. 

( _ Her aunt was going to beat her ass if she found out that Diana’s soulmate was possibly assigned female at birth. _

_ It wasn’t the time to think about that.) _

“And, you like it?” 

Immediately after she said that, she heard the voice of her soulmate’s calming voice through her head, making her jump back in surprise since this had never happened in front of anybody before.

Hannah hurried across surprisingly large for a student’s bed to catch her before she fell on the cold hard wood. “Whoa! What exactly happened there?”

Diana had missed the first few seconds of the song, but she could tell it was in English.

‘ _ I’m not very strong but I’ll fuck you up if you’re mean to bugs’ _

It’s not like she knew what those lyrics meant exactly, but it instantly sent a cool rush of calm through her entire body. 

“They started singing.”

__

__

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to have Akko sing boys will be bugs by cavetown, Why you ask? It's a vibe tbh


	4. 4. Heart attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana is a mess, Akko has finger guns and a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so sorry for the late update I've been kind of busy with school work :/ Also, I've been revising things in this chapter that hasn't really set well with me like i took out like 500 lines because i did something that shouldn't be in the story yet like something I did with my other story so now i have to go in and rewrite that entire chapter, ANYWAYS
> 
> tiny TW// for this chapter but it won't be getting explicit, i just don't want to accidentally trigger someone. 
> 
> and disclaimer: I am not public schooled i get my public school information from my friends so everything is 2nd hand.

First day of REAL class and Akko couldn’t be more excited! This was her  _ dream _ school, Chariot had probably stepped foot on the same tile floor as she was inside of the classroom all those years ago. The thought of it almost made her insane! Was she obsessed? No. Maybe.

Akko chose to sit next to the two only people she actually sort of knew at this school, Lotte and Sucy. She  _ could’ve _ sat behind Diana down in the front row and next to the 3rd redhead who looked fun (Why are there so many redheads at this school???) But no, no new friends, the 1st redhead she met and the one with black hair were giving her the stink eye and the Diana girl was staring right at her with a look in her eyes that Akko was not able to dissect. 

Like the non-Diana’s were giving her bloodlust and Diana was on the line of bloodlust and lust. 

And all Akko had to do to get her to stop giving her stabby bedroom eyes was to just give her them back, and watch her blush like mad.

_ Now sometimes, you have to ask yourself  _ **_why_ ** _ watching this person who was most definitely not your soulmate blush because of you enjoyable? _

__ She was brought out of your thoughts when Sucy nudged her arm “Why are you staring at Cavendish?” she asked in a whisper.

“What? Do you know her?” Akko asked right back at her.

“More like how do you not know of her? She’s a descendant Beatrix Cavendish? Famous pianist from Mozart's time?” Sucy whispered a little bit louder with a dumbfounded look on her face. “Her  _ entire _ family is composed of famous pianists?” 

“Yeah sorry, doesn’t ring a bell.”

Sucy sighed. “Whatever, let’s just wait for Finnelan to come in.”

Immediately after Sucy said that, the teacher in question opened the door, made her way over to her desk, and got a jar out from under it.

“ _ Speak of the devil.” _ Akko made the comment under her breath in Japanese.

“Class,” She started. “As you may know, I am Professor Finnelan and I will be teaching you music theory. I’m sure some of you who are paying attention have noticed this jar and are wondering why I have it, correct?”

The 20 or so students in the classroom nodded.

“In this jar I have written down all of your names, I will pull two of your names out of this jar and whoever I pull out with you will be your partner for your first project.” 

Some of the students in the room looked excited, most nervous. A few just flat out did not care.

Akko was part of the nervous gang.

“The assignment that you will be working on is quite simple really, you and your partner are to compose and perform an original piece by the end of the semester. Am I understood?”

That only made her more nervous, she didn’t write! She was a cover person. She knew how to play a ton of instruments but it’s not like she knew how to write an original piece for ANY of them? 

All she could do was sit back and hope that she was paired with somebody who had the tiniest bit of writing experience to teach her. She wasn’t the type to let the other person do all of the work, after all. Or she could at least get Sucy or Lotte.

Finnelan reached her hand in the jar. “Amanda O’Neill” Ginger #3 (probably Amanda) grew a smirk on her face. “Sucy Manbavaran.” 

Sucy looked like she was holding back a groan.

Again. “Lotte Jansson.” Lotte whispered something under her breath, Akko couldn’t really tell what it was  _ entirely  _ but it had something to do with her name. 

Finnelan reached her hand in the jar again for Lotte’s partner. “Barbara Parker.”

Lotte’s eyes grew to the size of saucers as she looked towards the black haired girl next to Diana. 

_ Okay so black haired not Diana is Barbara. _

“Constanze Amalie Von Brown bank? Br-  _ Braunschbank  _ Alberts- Albret-  _ Albrechtsberger.” _

She looked like she was going to pass out by the end of that.

“And Hannah England.” She looked relieved after she said that name.

“Diana Cavendish.”

She reached her hand back into the jar.

“Atsuko Kagari.”

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


She sounded too much like her aunt.

Her speech, the way she said ‘am I understood’ like she does, shouldn't freak her out, it was just a regular phrase. 

All she said was ‘am I understood’ and now Diana felt as if she was going to be hit.

She hadn’t even realized that Hannah and Barbara had paired up with their partners until they left the door.

So she was left with Akko.

Akko who made her blush.

Akko who she was staring at earlier for a reason she could not find.

Akko who was walking towards her with a bright smile on her face. 

_ Akko who she was sure she had heard before their first encounter  _ __

__ Akko who was right in front of her.

“Hey.” Akko added finger guns after her words and Diana didn’t know why but she felt like a mess.

Diana took a few seconds to compose herself. “Hello to you too.”

Akko took her finger gun down “Uh, the project? Your dorm or mine?” Akko asked

And that’s when the realization hit her.

_ Oh _

_ I need to work with this woman who is literally making me think I’m crazy  _

__ “O-oh, Uh, whose dorm is bigger?”

_ Diana you dumbass you’re probably the richest student here. _

__ “Well if yours was any smaller than mine I’d be concerned.” Akko laughed at the end

_ Did that come off as me making fun of her? _

_ Does she know of my family? _

“Oh um, my dorm is then.” Diana said quickly (and awkwardly) “After class, 4:00?”

Akko scratched the back of her neck. “Ahhhh no I have vocals with Mrs.Callistis after classes end…”

“5:00?” She suggested.

“Yeah that works out for me!” Akko replied with her smile. (Akko’s smile made her feel weird for a reason that she could not pinpoint.)

Akko looked at the clock on the wall. “Well I have to go to class now good bye see you later at 5!” She said in one breath and then bolted down the hallway followed by somebody yelling ‘No running in the halls!’

_ I didn’t even tell her where my dorm is. _

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


Lunch, the best part of the school day. (from Akko’s experience) Akko decided to follow Sucy and Lotte to wherever they were going to sit. 

Soon after they sat down, Amanda (?) followed along with a short girl carrying her laptop.

The Amanda girl just stared at Sucy until she said something “Ugh can’t I just eat in  _ peace?” _ Sucy groaned 

“Dude, we’re  _ partners _ , why not get used to me? We have what, 20 minutes?” Amanda propped her foot on the table. “This is Constanze, get used to seeing them when seeing me cuz’ we’re practically attached at the hip.” Amanda said putting her arm around the smaller one.

“Can you go bother somebody else?” Sucy said with a scowl.

Surprisingly, neither Amanda nor Constanze looked offended, or hurt in any way. 

“Why can’t we get along?” She said, extending the ‘o’. Amanda’s face twisted into a more remorseful one. “Okay so I made ONE mista-” she was cut off by a more serious toned Sucy.

“And it was a very BIG mistake, Amanda.” She practically hissed.

Honestly, Akko had no idea what Sucy had wrong with Amanda. She seemed fun, for the most part.

Maybe that should be something to ask Sucy, in private. (And double up on bandages or else she’s gonna puke if it leaks through.)

Sensing the awkwardness in the room, Lotte took it upon herself to maybe try and make it less awkward, in a sense. “ _ Touta,  _ My name is Lotte, um, nice to meet you.” She held her hand out for Amanda to shake just like she had done for Akko when they first met.

Amanda took the hint and shook her hand. “Uh, nice to meet you too, Lotte.”

Sucy gave her a straight  _ death glare  _ as she was shaking Amanda’s hand.

  1. Akko could either risk her 1 day relationship with Sucy over some random girl who she 



didn’t know and didn’t know why Sucy had beef with.

  1. She could be a good friend and take Sucy’s side



“Hi! I’m Atsuko Kagari but my friends call me Akko!” 

She went with option one.

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  
  


Akko stood in front of the door, the last class of the day before she saw Diana. Diana the girl who she would be seeing for the rest of the semester, Diana the girl who she would be writing and composing a song with, Diana the girl who had the softest smile she had only seen once, Diana the girl with the deepest ocean blue eyes-

_ That’s enough thinking for today. _

__ Akko brushed away the thoughts and opened the door to Mrs. Callistis’ classroom where she was met with one other purple haired student and a blue haired teacher, was it just her or was hair dye really popular at this school?

The blue haired teacher turned her head towards Akko “You’re here! Take a seat, ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵃ ˢᵉᵃᵗ” She said excitedly. 

Akko hurried over to a chair in the front of the classroom with as much enthusiasm as the teacher had, which was way too much.

Calistis clapped her hands together. “ _ Whew It’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited, and I’m married.” _ She whispered, not quietly though. That shouldn’t even qualify as a whisper. “Hello! As you may know, I am Mrs. Callistis and I will be responsible for how NOT to damage your voice!” 

The mostly empty classroom fell into a silence as Akko and the kind-looking purple haired girl had no idea what to say, Akko didn’t want to leave her hanging though so she decided to encourage her, in a way.

Akko fist bumped the air “Whoo!”

The teacher gave her a very faint smile, then returned to talking. “Ah just kidding that’s not what the class is called… haha…” She awkwardly cleared her throat. “I am also the school’s counselor.” She added. “But you two already know that.”

She lightly clapped her hands again before she started a new sentence. “I am you guy’s vocal  _ coach,  _ not to be confused with a singing teacher, you two already know how to sing, that’s why you’re here.”

“As a vocal coach, I am here with you to improve your technique, which is way more important than it sounds. If you don’t have a good technique when say… singing loudly, you could develop a vocal injury and we really do not want that for you two.” she said with a remorseful look.”

“Anyways… let’s begin!”

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

Diana had been nervous all day for a whole myriad of reasons.

  1. She didn’t tell Akko where her dorm was so they probably wouldn’t get to practice tonight



  1. Finnelan scared her to death 



  1. Hannah and Barbara were at their partners dorms and she felt anxious without them 



  1. She would have to call Daryl tonight.



And that last one scared her more than anything else.

Every time she would talk to her aunt on the phone she could feel the hatred dripping through the speaker, the pure hatred of  _ her _ . 

She didn’t know what she did to deserve it, maybe it was simply being born.

She was snapped out of her thoughts (and scared half to death in the process) when she heard knocking at the door.

She carefully got up to answer it. Before twisting the knob to greet whoever was on the other side, another series of knocks came (which kind of sounded like some sort of fist jingle?) 

Diana carefully turned the door knob and-

“Akko?” She stared red eyes down in front of her. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” She asked, confused as all hell.

“Simple,” She started with her seemingly always cheery tone. “I asked around.” 

_ For somebody that I barely know, you astound me. _

Akko stepped inside of her dorm and started to look around, that was the moment Diana started to get the feeling again, in her heart.

She wondered if Akko could feel it too or if she just had some undiagnosed heart disease that made her feel like this and had the extra additive of sending blood to her face every time this girl was around.

Akko got to behind the bookshelf where her bed was.

She was frozen in place.

Reasonably, Diana got worried. Who just goes frozen like that? Did she see something? It’s not like she had anything to hide.

“Hey are you okay?” She asked, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

Akko slowly turned around, revealing more of her face as she went.

Her eyes grown to the size of saucers, her mouth stretched out in a smile.

“You have a  _ UNICORN _ PLUSHIE????”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you got to the end of the chapter thank you my dude :) In this story Constanze uses they/them pronouns bc why not nonbinary people are rad!   
> Also all the chapters in this story chapter 3 and on are going to be named after songs and I'm clarifying that this one is Loona Chuu's heart attack not demi lovato ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVVfMFS3mgc watch for gay pining)  
> Hope you enjoyed! not all the chapters are going to be super angsty i'm not one to constantly make you suffer.  
> Also I'm slipping some rare pairs in here y'all just gotta find out what they are... hehe  
> Also I'm not a singer so if i got anything wrong please inform me and like teach me the stuff bc I want it to be accurate, (my tumblr is minjukangminju)


	5. 5. Ramblings of a Lunatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana thinks thoughts that she doesn't want to think and Akko learns something entirely new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! I hope you like this chapter my friends. I don't really have anything to say here, most of that will be in end notes. Also to user Tainga, I couldn't find you on tumblr or twitter, idk why. There was a user on twitter who had the username but the messages weren't accessible
> 
> TW

Diana felt the embarrassment wash over her as she scrambled for an excuse as to why she had a childrens toy on her bed. It’s not like she had a chance to, anyways, as the girl ran out the door before she could have a chance to explain herself. 

Not even 2 minutes past Akko sprinting to who knows where, Diana heard frantic knocking at her door. Frantic knocking that somehow formed a song on the wood. 

The blonde pianist answered the door just to see Akko, with at least 10 copies of the same bird plushie in her arms struggling to keep said plushies  _ in _ her arms.  _ Panting _ mind you.

And god did she look adorable, even when she was panting and sweaty.

_ (Stop thinking) _

“What-What’s this all a-about?” Diana stammered.

_ Why do I feel like this?  _

“Well,” Akko started as she walked into the room with full arms. “I saw your unicorn plushie and it reminded me of my  _ Alcor _ plushies, so I grabbed them to show you!” she said with excitement in her voice.

A blush crept up on Diana’s cheeks as she watched Akko look for a place to put her birds (Alcors?).

Diana guided them to her bed and watched as Akko gently placed down each one, like they were real animals.

“Akko, can we start on the project?” She asked.

There was no way she was going to be able to finish this while working with  _ her _ , the girl who makes her feel all strange inside doing the bare minimum. 

That scared her, the thought that somebody who wasn’t her soulmate was able to do that to her.

_ And the thought that her soulmate was most likely a female _

__ “Ah! You’re right I almost forgot about that, hehe…” The red eyed girl scratched the back of her neck. “Do you by any chance, know how to write a song?”

And that’s when it  _ actually _ hit her.

Neither of them knew how to write a song. At least it was the assumption that neither of them had ever written a song, going by Akko’s nervous demeanor when asking her question. Diana could conclude that no, neither of them had written a song and they were in fact, fucked. If they were fucked that meant they would get a low grade and getting a low grade meant she would have to go home because getting a low grade is breaking the rules and-

_ Just answer the question idiot. _

“N-no, have you?”

“ _ Kuso.  _ How about we ask each other questions then, get to know each other a little?” Akko suggested to a red-faced Diana. “I’ll go first.” 

Diana prepared herself to answer any question the girl asked.

“What kind of pets do you have?”

_ Thank the gods that that’s not invasive. _

“Snakes, like 20 or so.” She answered calmly while Akko’s face twisted into something that could definitely not be described as calm.

Diana got the urge to possibly calm her down, she looked like a combination of freaked out and confused. “Not venomous snakes or anything! Ball pythons, boa constrictors, corn snakes, bull snakes…” Diana explained “I got bit by one on my leg when I was a baby, but other than that they’re pretty docile.”

“I have a birthmark on my leg that looks like a snakebite, wanna see?” 

Diana didn’t even get a chance to reply before Akko pulled up her leg and pointed to two dot like ‘birthmarks’ on her calf. 

The same exact position hers were in.

_ She said it was a birthmark, don’t freak out. _

The blonde distracted herself by asking Akko a question, because it’s not like that shit’s gonna bubble up in her mind later. No chance of that happening at all.

“Your turn, questions.” Akko informed her after a period of silence.

“Right um, where did you grow up?”

Diana immediately face palmed herself after that question was asked.

_ She’s from Japan, idiot.  _

Akko gained a  cute starry look in her eyes. “Osaka! I was born in Taiwan though. I could talk all day about Japan, I haven’t even been gone for long but I miss it…” Her face turned into a frown nearing the last words.

“You can tell me about it.”

“Ahhhh not right now,” Akko seemed paused for a second while she thought. “Time for another question for you, where did you get that unicorn?” She asked

Diana opened her mouth to speak but was cut off prematurely by the sound of Akko’s phone dinging at  _ least _ 5 times in a row.

The Japanese girl picked up her phone and developed a surprised expression, that made her already big doe eyes get even bigger and her mouth form a cute small circle and-

“Sorry, I need to leave.” Akko frowned. “Sucy and Amanda are fighting at the dorm and Lotte needs me to help her break it up.” Akko quickly grabbed all the bird plushies she dropped on her bed. 

“O-Okay! Bye?”

And with that, Akko rushed out of the door.

Leaving behind Diana and a perfectly timed phone call from her dear, sweet aunt.

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


Akko arrived at her destination not soon after she left, she was only at Diana’s for like 10 minutes. Maybe it was a little longer than she thought, she dropped her birds like 4 times. 

They really had gotten nothing done.

But hey, at least she learned that Diana blushes easily. 

(And the fact that they have the same birthmark/snake bite scar)

Akko stood at the door waiting to open it, and for the way Lotte texted her, it didn’t sound like there was even a hint at fighting going on in there.

Dead silence.

Akko lifted her elbow to knock on the door, it’s not like she could knock the proper way with all of the Alcor’s in her hands. Maybe one day she would get to see the real Alcor, it’s not like he’s dead or anything, birds live for a really long time. 

She only knew that fact because she researched anything and everything about Shiny Chariot and Alcor. But it’s not like she’s  _ obsessed _ or anything. 

The door separating her and where she needed to go finally opened, revealing a  _ very _ disheveled looking Lotte. Sucy (and possibly Amanda) were hidden behind the door as Lotte was just peeking her head out of the doorframe. “Akko! You’re kind of late, Amanda already left...but that’s okay!” Lotte dropped her voice into a whisper and moved her head close “ _ I really have no idea what to do.” _

Akko moved the door so she could see what was going on inside, or at least the remnants of what  _ went  _ on.

Really? There was none.

None besides the giant hand shaped bruise forming on Sucy’s cheek.

Despite the obviously painful marking right on her face, she didn’t seem to be phased at all. She was just… sitting there, emotionless.

Akko, being the good friend she is, rushed over to the side of her friend. (Spilling all of the Alcors out of her arms in the process.) 

“Sucy! What happened? Did she hit you?!  _ I barely know you but I’ll beat her ass if she did-” _

“No, Akko.” She was interrupted by the pale girl. “She didn’t hit  _ me, I _ hit  _ her.” _

Akko took a step back.

“Think about it. Why else would I have a forming bruise on my face if I hit  _ her?” _ She said with malice.

Akko let the gears turn in her head for a few seconds.

_ Did she hit her in retaliation? Why else would she have a bruise if Sucy hit her and not the other way arou- _

And then it hit her.

“ _ What? _ You two are soulmates?” Akko had her voice barely above a whisper. It’s not like she wanted to deafen the two of them with her surprise.

“Yeah, It’s not like I was trying to hide it from you two anyways…” Her voice drifted off.

At that point, Sucy turned around in her bed so that she was no longer facing the two. 

“I’m not her only one. Also I’m turned around because your leg is bleeding and I  _ really _ don’t want to see that right now.”

“You can have MORE THAN ONE SOULMATE?” 

“Akko your leg!” Lotte exclaimed while pointing at the dark red spot on her pants. 

Akko looked down and pulled up the barrier separating her and the wound.

Gashes, 5 of them. Over her birthmark.  _ Right _ over her birthmark.

She could deal with the surprise of somebody being capable of having more than one soulmate later, now she had to tend to the wounds. 

Could soulmates have the same birthmarks? Did they just really not like the bite mark for some reason and only now decided that they would tear it up?

Lotte watched in a panic as to what to do as Akko casually walked over and grabbed her first aid kit. 

“How often does this happen that you have to have a first aid kit on  _ hand? _ Are you okay?” Lotte rushed over to the side of Akko and attempted to get the kit open.

“I mean, yeah. I’ve been getting the cuts since I was ten. Soulmate needs therapy.” Akko explained. “Don’t be worried, it doesn’t hurt. In fact, I have meds because this happens so much.”

Lotte looked like she was processing the information that was just so kindly handed to her by Akko. 

She cleared her throat. “U-um okay! Let’s just get your leg patched up and we can talk about this later.”

She grabbed the bandages and began to work. “So um, how was your time with Cavendish? What’s it like meeting up with the descendant of Beatrix Cavendish? Was she as stuck up as everybody says?”

Stuck up?

Diana Cavendish was the complete  _ opposite  _ of stuck up! 

“Her? Stuck up?” Akko scoffed. “She blushes and stutters too much, she's super shy, really.”

Lotte gave her a confused look and stopped wrapping her leg for a second. “Akko, I sat next to her in calculus, I even  _ talked _ to her. She didn’t blush or stutter  _ once.” _ She paused. “Maybe she’s just like this around  _ you _ .”

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


Diana would be lying if she said she didn’t feel like shit. Her call with her aunt reminded her of the punishments, except this time she specified exactly what type of punishment she would be getting if she violated the rules.

So now, instead of just ‘whip’ she had a detailed image in her mind of what would happen if it really turned out that her soulmate was a girl and not a boy who was just really late to puberty.

The grades weren’t an issue. She was learning geometry by the age of 8 she knew her stuff. She never really got a chance to be a kid… maybe that was why she liked the plushie so much. 

Hannah and Barbara had gotten to the dorm around the same time, even with them there for support, she couldn’t break the addiction that she had.

And she couldn’t keep away from the marks that she and Akko shared. She did a sloppy job, she didn’t clean up nearly as well as she would normally. 

They would probably know what she did as soon as they went into that bathroom.

It’s not like she actively wanted to hurt them, hurt them and her soulmate. She’d had this conversation many times over in her head. It always went the same. 

There was no reason in reciting the same sentences in her head every time she decided to harm herself, it wasn’t very productive. 

She couldn’t really stop the thoughts that plagued her mind, that caused her to do the things she did to her body. She wanted them to stop, she wanted them to stop  _ so bad. _

~~ There was one way to get them to stop for good that would also stop the pain she was bringing to the person who she was supposed to love the most  ~~

The thoughts were getting harder to shoo away.

~~ There’s no point in doing this any longer if all that happens to you is bad so all that happens to them will be bad, physically.  ~~

There was really no point in shooing them away.

Is this too much for a teenager to feel?

_ It’s probably time to go to bed, I can miss a song for one night. _

_ Maybe I’ll hear it in my dreams. _

  
  
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm not really happy with this chapter entirely even though I worked on it really hard :( But I don't know what to fix with it. I don't think I can truly be happy with anything I create tbh. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter more than I did, more is to come. Also I try not to be too angsty, I try to balance it out with lightheartedness but I think this had more angst than the usual
> 
> This chapters name comes from Ramblings of a Lunatic by 'Bears in trees'   
> link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFh3P7ECRDI


	6. 6. Absolutely Smitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana is a mess and Akko doesn't know what she's doing to the poor girl's heart. 
> 
> Aka the fluff chapter because I've made them suffer enough

Who knew that a 50s themed diner could be so unnaturally calming, maybe it was just a ‘her’ thing but somehow the neon lighting and the booths that probably had some old guys sweat on them seemed more calm than her own home.

Familiarity, association with happy memories, maybe. It’s not like her home was ever happy in the first place.

_ Happy thoughts Diana, don’t go there. _

Diana turned her attention to her friends who convinced her to come instead of wasting away in front of textbooks for hours, at first she was opposed to the idea, stating that ‘ _ My education is more important than my appetite’ _ before realizing how absolutely ridiculous she sounded. 

Diana took her eyes off of her friends and put her attention towards the rest of the restaurant, the blaring music muffled by the earplugs she got for situations like these. Familiar faces were seen throughout, the old lady who always comes in with her grandkids, the girl who comes in with a guy who is definitely  _ not _ her actual father, Akko-

_ Wait _

Red eyes from across the room met blue as the red-eyed girls' face lit up and the blue’s resisted doing the same.

_ Don’t make eye contact don’t make eye contact don’t make eye contact don’t make eye contact- _

“Oh my god! Hannah, look, it’s Lotte!” Barbara said, a smile pulling at the sides of her mouth.

Hannah looked in the direction of Barbara’s eyes and found the ginger. “Nightfall girl? The one who plays the harp? Weird roommate who probably experiments on the other one?  _ That _ Lotte?”

The black haired girl gave her girlfriend a playful slap on the arm. “Yes that Lotte you dunce, Who else in England is named Lotte? We’re not Finnish.”

_ Don’t come over don’t come over don’t come over don’t come over don’t- _

Diana held her hands over her head, hoping for the brunette to not acknowledge her 

Maybe even suppressing the fact that she secretly hoped she would  but the short haired girl at the other table drew in the attention of her friends. Attention that she hoped wouldn’t turn towards her partner.

“Diana, isn’t that your partner?” Barbara mentioned

Diana took her hands off of her head and looked back, just to notice her again. She quickly snapped her head back around

“Cause she looks like she’s about to come over.”

Diana quickly turned her head around and sure enough, the girl was standing, waltzing over with a pep in her step and a smile on her face.

Cutest worst fear, really.

“HEY! Diana! What are you doing here?”

Diana sheepishly pointed at her food. “Um… Eating?” She cleared her throat “We, Barbara Hannah and I, Come here every few weekends.”

“Yeah and she’s ordered the same damn thing consistently for the two years she’s been coming here.” Hannah took a jab at Diana, embarrassing the girl and getting her face all red. 

_ If I wanted to blush in front of Akko for literally no reason today I would have stayed at the dorm and worked with her. _

_ But no, Hannah just had to share my weird eating habits. _

Akko placed her finger on her chin and leaned forward to inspect Diana’s plate “Hm, weird.” Akko leaned back up, in that time, the blonde got a better chance to examine her. (In a non weird way of course, we aren’t degenerates)

A plain red hoodie covering a shirt with letters that read ‘10th anniversary! A believing heart!’, reasonably short shorts for the weather but let’s be real, nobody should be wearing shorts in 15 degree weather. Hair put up in the same simple, yet adorable hairstyle she always wore. A pair of sandals on her feet.

The thing that really caught her attention though was the carefully wrapped bandages covering a spot on her calf. Wrapped with the same care the ones on her arms were.

In the same spot on her leg that Diana’s was.

_ Yeah not suspicious at all _

Akko looked back at her friend group sitting at a booth across the diner, the pink haired girl who ‘probably poisons her roommates’ according to Hannah and Barbara, and the timid harp player who had a golden voice to match. “Do you mind if I bring my friends over? We can eat together if you’d like!”

The black haired girl clapped her hands in excitement “Of course! Tell Lotte I  _ Loved _ her ‘interpretation’ of volume 322, if you catch my drift.” she said, adding a wink at the end.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll tell her you said that..”

As Akko turned around to fetch her friend, Hannah snorted. “Sometimes I forget how awkward you are around people.”

“I am not!” She retorted. “I simply get flustered easily.” She crossed her arms in faux-anger. Not a good choice on second thought, just made the pair of soulmates chuckle more.

Maybe on third thought it was a good choice, it did make a faint smile creep up on the blonde’s face, after all.

Akko came back with the redhead and the enigma, then proceeded to tap Diana on the shoulder “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” She gave her a soft smile  which didn’t make her stomach to a backflip 

She accepted. 

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


So it turns out not only letting the girl who makes you have heart palpitations sit next to you, but having her sit ON you during a 15 minute long car ride isn’t the best idea in the world but Diana just feels as if she cannot say no to her. 

God, this girl was going to be the death of her.

Literally, Diana felt as if her heart was going to explode in the back seat of her friend’s car.

_ Who even thought of the idea of putting 6 people in a 5 person car, oh right, me, I thought of putting 6 people in a 5 person car. _

On second thought, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea letting Akko sit on her lap. Yes, she felt as if her heart was going to leave her body solely because of how fast it was beating, but on the other hand, the warmth of Akko and the pressure being put on her body was comforting.

Barbara mentioned it once, deep pressure she called it. She said it would probably help with her sensory issues if she got a weighted blanket but Diana didn’t listen since she didn’t see the appeal of sleeping with 15 pounds on you every night. 

But she can definitely see the appeal now.

“Diana.” Akko’s voice called her. “I have something to give you, when we get to the dorms, if you don’t mind.”

The blonde’s heart picked up the speed, if that was even possible, of course. “Um, yeah, d-do you have it on you?”

_ Seriously Diana, do you have to stutter every single damn time you’re speaking to this girl?” _

Akko giggled, “No, I have to get it from my room.”

Diana could just imagine her smile, it was practically burned into her brain.

But it wouldn’t hurt just to see it one more time.

“Don’t ask what it is though,” Akko turned around and put her lips to Diana’s ear. “ _ It’s a secret.” _

  
  
  


*_*_*_*_*

  
  
  


“You look like a statue.” Hannah spoke, breaking Diana out of her stoic waiting-state.

“I’m just making sure I’m ready for when Akko comes back, I would like to be presentable enough for her to see me.

Hannah let out a light laugh, “Presentable? You stutter around that girl so much I doubt she cares about presentability, especially at night.” She walked to her dresser and pulled out comfortable night clothes before throwing them at her. “Put on your jammies, I’ll tell you when she gets here.”

“Jammies?” Diana whispered before looking at the shirt and shorts thrown at her, Hannah knew she didn’t like wearing pants to bed, they stuck to the blanket and made her all sorts of uncomfortable and hot.

Diana slipped the white shirt on with the shorts and continued to wait in her ‘statue form’, as Hannah called it.

No less than 30 seconds later, a soft knock sounded at the door. Akko with her mysterious secret gift, was here. 

Diana rushed to the door and quickly opened it.

“Have you been to New york?” Akko asked

Diana cocked her head in confusion. “No, why ask?”

_ Maybe it has something to do with her gift? _

“Your shirt.” Akko pointed at her chest. “It says ‘I heart New York on it.”

_ Yeah, should’ve stayed in regular clothes. _

Akko shook her head “No need to get off topic, here.” She brought her hand out from behind her back, holding one of the plushes she brought during their first meeting. “I just thought that maybe your unicorn got a little lonely while you were at class, so maybe if she had a buddy she wouldn’t be so lonely.” Akko said with her signature smile.

There’s Diana’s daily boost of serotonin.

“Akko… You didn’t need to-” Diana was cut off by the girl.

“Shhhh, I have plenty and I’m happy to give this to you.” She enclosed the bird in her hands. “Anyways, It’s near curfew and I need to get home. Bye bye!.” She said before wrapping Diana in a warm hug.

Error messages played in her head as she tried to find a place to put her hands and her face changed to the color red.

Oh god, Diana was absolutely smitten.

For a girl.

_ Daryll doesn’t need to know. _

_ But she’ll find out. _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm sorry for not uploading for so long :( most of it comes down to laziness I'm not even going to deny it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.   
> Honestly this chapter got rewritten so many times it started out as an Amanda backstory chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! If you know me from my tokyo ghoul au then hi again! I'm a sucker for hurt comfort feels ahhh sorry lmao it's more hurt than comfort now I know. (if you know me from my tokyo ghoul au I'm still updating that I just have another story now so don't be worried) Diana is suffering rn but in the next chapter she's going to suffer a little bit less I promise


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